Certainly drinking is its own wonderful reward. Wetting one’s whistle with the gods’ sweet nectar and being allowed passage to the pastoral paradise of perfectdom that is inebriation is second to nothing—so when tangible spoils come your way, they are but icing on a cake already made out of pure good times. I am talking about prizes: physical, no joke things that alcohol companies give you for the pleasure of enjoying their libations.

Of course the “civilized” US has put a stop to a lot of these amazing giveaways, but have no fear, because the rest of the world soldiers on. Just last night I won an amazing passport cover after drinking two beers. Two beers. That wouldn’t even get a toddler tipsy!

Has anyone else gotten down on the alcohol prize wagon? Are alcohol giveaways fully dead in the US?

I’ll keep searching over here, because really, regardless, to the drunkard go the spoils.

 
—Hardie
Reporting from Russia