Do you want to play a game?

“Do you want to play a game?” The Jager girls asked us, holding out stacks of Jagermeister-branded, clear-plastic shot glasses.

Whoever said that booze-branded swag giveaways were dead and buried in America (cough, Hardie, cough, cough) was—fortunately for us Stateside Enthusiasts—mistaken. Last Thursday it was more than mere Enthusiasm-trembles that drew us to our favorite local watering hole, Pete’s 881 club, but rather a tweet from the bar advertising prime rib, and, more intriguingly—the Jager girls.

Ahh, the Jager girls—sirens of the sweet 56 herbs, roots, and spices that comprise Germany’s most proudest export.

Needless to say, the game was designed to be utterly un-loseable even by the very-blacked-out-and/or-falling-over-and/or-in-imminent-danger-of-projectile-vomiting, which resulted in us both departing Pete’s at night’s end proudly sporting a rather fratboyish branded trucker cap (me) and faux-distressed black Jager tee-shirt (him).

Are booze gear giveaways gone in the States? I think not, my gloating, ex-pats friends and family—I think not. And I had the haunting essence of anise and 55 other herbs, roots, and spices eructing from between my lips, and a sugary splitting headache the next morning as harsh reminder of the price we pay for all that awesome free shit.