Oct
29
2011

5 Halloween costumes for drunks

—Josey

As an Enthusiast, one of your primary concerns on Halloween weekend is probably how to conveniently tote the night’s libations around in your costume. Unless you’re dressing as a college student, bike messenger, or office worker (possibly some of the laziest “costumes” you could wear), the usual backpack, messenger bag, or briefcase of booze will negatively impact the efficacy of your festive outfit. Here are 5 Halloween costumes that lend themselves particularly well to transporting booze:

 

Cowboy/Cowgirl:
Pick up a bottle of Hijos De Villa Pistol Reposado for tequila that does double-duty as a prop gun for the night. Play the distraught cattle-wrangler and down the whole thing yourself or do your crew a favor avenging your old friend’s death by shooting them in the mouth.

 

Old-timey pirate: You don’t even need to buy novelty booze for this costume—any bottle of rum will work. Swigging frequently is encouraged, as is hording. The perfect costume to disguise your serious alcoholism.

 

Priest:
Dressing as a man of the cloth provides not one, but two, convenient ways to carry booze: the Bible flask, and a bottle of (sacramental) wine, perfect for relaxing even the most nervous altar boys. If you want to get crazy, dose those communion wafers you’re doling out (although that’s really a tip for the LSD Enthusiast).

 


4. Pregnant nun: The beer belly combined with the wine rack will make you look like one very naughty nun—until about an hour into the night when you’ve consumed all the booze. Then you’ll just look like a nun that’s recently undergone weight-loss surgery.

 

5. The Dude: Without a White Russian in hand, you’re basically just dressed as dad on a Sunday afternoon.

 
This year Christian’s going holy, so we’ll be sipping from his Bible flask. How are you planning to include booze in your Halloween costume?


Drunk pirates photo courtesy of Christopher Porter, flickr
Pregnant nuns photo courtesy of nadja robot, flickr

White Russian photo courtesy of Jonathon Watney, flickr.

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