East Coast trip day 3: A story in which we eat bagels at the end


It wouldn’t be an Enthusiast morning-after without a raging case of the drunk creepies and at least a couple angry texts about something we straight don’t remember doing. Come on. Y’all know exactly what we’re talking about. ANYWAYS… so we had some albeit-hazy fun last night and we started our day with brunch at Great Jones Cafe, recommended to us by our dear old friends Hatter and Adina as much for the delicious food as for their liquor license. Uncharacteristically early, we enjoyed several hot sauce-doused Bloodies at the bar before our friends arrived and we proceeded to enjoy several more at our table. And also some like, eggs and stuff.

We drank Bloodies while experiencing for the first time what waiting on late(ish) friends is like.

Still needing to drown our hangovers and various sorrows, we went to McSorley’s Ale House for some daydrinking1. Adina loves McSorley’s and explained it’s famous for being one of New York’s oldest boozing establishments. The bartenders are surly (so people call it “McSURLY’s”—get it??) The floor is covered in sawdust, and there are only two drinks on the menu: light beer and dark beer. For every one beer you order they serve you two, so between the four of us we drank about 875 mugs worth.

This is a photo of Hatter. It’s technically a photo of a photo we saw at his parents’ house where we went between day and evening drinking to walk his dog. This was taken at his “white coat ceremony,” which is some doctor thing because yes, this man is in med school. Yes, the Enthusiasts who force shots upon you/who you love/who you’ve grown to hate/who you fear/who’s lives you fear for, not only know well but get wasted with with people who may operate on your body in the near(ish) future.

Daydrinking turned into evening and we took the subway uptown for a very early dinner at Circo, where another dear friend from college, Aleck, works as sommelier (yeah, our friends are classy like that). Perhaps fooled by our proximity to Hatter and Adina, who are both contributing members of society, Alec and the rest of Circo’s staff spoiled the crap out of us. Everything we ordered was amazing, as were the extra treats (both in food and drink form) the kitchen sent out. Over Negronis to start, amazing red wine with our entrees (Aleck, sir,  if you’re reading this, do you remember what you recommended? I was drunk and didn’t write down the name), and moscato and brandy for dessert we loudly regaled each other and our proximate diners with some of our soridest tales.

We have speakeasies with great cocktails at home in San Francisco, but wanted to check out what the Big Apple had to offer. Hatter and Adina took us, uhh…. In a cab? To uhhh… somewhere else? (it gets a little, and by that I mean a lot, hazy) to the Raines Law Room, where they promised BIG THINGS from the drinks there. As easy as I am to please, I am also very difficult, so I kept my drunken expectations low. But for possibly the first time in my life I was wrong! These really may have been the best drinks I’d EVER HAD IN MY LIFE—OMG! WOW MOM!!! The décor was sexy (that’s their wallpaper in the photo above) and our company of course outstanding. But all that shit aside, the cocktails themselves were phenomenal. I’ll be honest, I have no fucking clue what we ordered as Christian and I stopped keeping track after 1.5 nights of traveling. And I’ll use the excuse “it was extremely dark” to explain a lack of photos; the problem was definitely not that we forgot to take them. Every drink tasted different, that much I remember.

Then Aleck appeared and then ANOTHER old buddy Ben with his ladyfriend, Teresa, and we drank some more and then we left and played some pool at Amsterdam Billiards and then we went dancing at some place with 13 in the name and then we woke up in our rental apartment and it was Sunday. And we went to Murray’s and ate bagels and lox because New York and because hangover. And because I’m half a Jew and we do not have shit for Jewish food nor real bagels on the West Coast, WTF guys, can somebody please do something about that? And then we drove to New Jersey!


1. My iPhone knows me well: it autocorrects “daydrinking” to “daydrinkingmarathon.”