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The Alcohol Enthusiast » By Josey
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Jan
08
2013

Hide that hangover!

—Josey & Loosey Goosey (& L.G.’s sister)

Ladies, while science (pffft…whatever, science) may say we can’t drink as much as men—apparently that sexy extra fat we carry makes our bodies metabolize booze at about half their rate—we as females have a distinct advantage in hiding our hangovers from the world’s judgiest-judgers: makeup.

Here, from guest Enthusiast Loosey Goosey (ed. note: NOT HER REAL NAME!!!) and your very own Josey (ed. note: me) are some tips to help you take advantage of the cosmetic tools at your disposal.

(Ed. note: Oh and men can totally wear makeup, too if they want. Something about gender!!! I’m being PC! I’m being PC!!!!)

hungover josey

Look how good I am at hiding my wretched hangovers! #notconvincing #reno

1. First thing’s first: Drink lots of water. Also coconut water. Trust us, your skin will be soooooo much less hideous when it’s (semi) rehydrated. Cause hungover you look like, 30 years older than you actually are (ed. note: no offense). Read more »


Dec
10
2012

An Enthusiast’s guide to gifts for drunks

—Josey

When you’re known for drinking a lot, or when your entire public identity is say, based on the fact that you write an alcohol blog, people tend to be afraid to go on pub crawls with you or come to your house (although in retrospect that second one might have nothing to do with the drinking…).

Anyways, my point is this: You receive almost exclusively as gifts bottles and bottles and bottles of booze. I swear I’m not complaining—pretty please don’t ever stop giving me booze!—but let’s say you want to stand out in the eyes of a special drunken someone, or maybe you want to give your favorite drunk a present that will take them longer than 34 minutes to ingest (huh, that didn’t come out right). In any case, here are some solid gift ideas:

Drinkwel: Since you don’t have magic powers and can’t exactly banish from your favorite drunks’ mornings forever their wretched hangovers, we suggest buying them Drinkwel. We’ve written extensively about our favorite hangover-alleviating vitamin, and if you’ve partied with us, we’ve probably tried to force-feed it to you (those were just vitamins, I swear!)

Read more »


Dec
05
2012

Cheers to Repeal Day

On December 5, 1933, the 18th Amendment passed, ending that time of great debauchery in the U.S. we call Prohibition. Drink up today to celebrate the freedom to drink up. Read more »


Oct
17
2012

Drinking with strabismus


I am bad at almost all drinking games because I don’t have good depth perception. Being bad at drinking games means losing, which means drinking. So really, who’s the loser now, Sober McSoberstein? Read more »


Oct
02
2012

East coast trip days 6 & 7 & 8: Drinking at the in-laws’ in rural Vermont

—Josey



This is Vermont, near where Christian’s folks live. Yep, that bitchin’ car there is a lifted station wagon. Note also the fall colors. Did you know looking at orangish leaves in New England is in itself a pastime? I know, weird, right? (I know my fellow Californians feel me on that.) Well it gets better, cause this pastime is known as LEAF PEEPING. I seriously don’t even know where to begin with that and no it is NOT just me, that shit sounds perverted as all hell. Read more »


Sep
28
2012

East Coast trip days 4 & 5: Drinking in New Jersey and Boston

—Josey

After some quality bagels and smoked sea life we departed New York City on Sunday afternoon for New Jersey to visit with my grandmother, aunt and uncle, and various cousins and second cousins. We ate some tasty dinner with the fam then headed out to explore for our first time nightlife at the Jersey shore. Aware of this blog, my cousin Jason recommended we check out Porta National Park, a restaurant and bar in nearby Asbury Park.

 

The famous pink drink.

Read more »


Sep
26
2012

East Coast trip day 3: A story in which we eat bagels at the end

—Josey

It wouldn’t be an Enthusiast morning-after without a raging case of the drunk creepies and at least a couple angry texts about something we straight don’t remember doing. Come on. Y’all know exactly what we’re talking about. ANYWAYS… so we had some albeit-hazy fun last night and we started our day with brunch at Great Jones Cafe, recommended to us by our dear old friends Hatter and Adina as much for the delicious food as for their liquor license. Uncharacteristically early, we enjoyed several hot sauce-doused Bloodies at the bar before our friends arrived and we proceeded to enjoy several more at our table. And also some like, eggs and stuff.

We drank Bloodies while experiencing for the first time what waiting on late(ish) friends is like.

Read more »


Aug
05
2012

We went to the VICE Air launch party

—Josey

 
I was skeptical that this seasoned Enthusiast would enjoy drinking anything called “Air,” (something called “Blackout Water” sounds more my style) but for the first time in my life I was wrong.

 

The Air crew

Read more »


Jun
27
2012

Taste test: Whiskey Dick

—Josey

Whiskey Dick is more than just every enthusiastic man’s nightmare. It’s also the name of a bourbon-flavored lube. I’m a long-time fan of both bourbon and putting penises in my mouth, so this lube is basically the realization of like, about a third of my fantasies.

Because I’m a distinguished member of the alcoholic press, I emailed the Whiskey Dick company‘s super-official “media” address, basked in my own specialness for a few, and waited patiently for my Whiskey Dick to arrive. And guess what? My Whiskey Dick popped up—I mean, didn’t pop up—later that night! Take my wife, please.
Read more »


Mar
28
2012

Bar crawl recap: Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade of Drunken Monkeyshines

If you weren’t there, you missed out—suckers!  Just kidding: We still love you. And really, we just feel bad for you that you missed all the claptrap AND the filmflam. Pro tip: That will teach you to trust your drinking-related activities to anyone other than The Alcohol Enthusiast. 

Check out a few memorable moments we have no memory of below, then hit up our Facebook page (and fan us, you fuckers) to see the full version of the fully-humiliating photo album. 

Read more »


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