Really old booze. Or: What you find when you help your 94-year-old grandmother empty her liquor cabinet


My family has a bit of a morbid streak and likes to way over-prepare for people’s imminent deaths. My grandmother, for instance, is 94 years old and as fabulous as ever. She actually performed better than I did on a stress test at the cardiologist. Sorry, pride, you lose this round. Anyway, ever since she became the last living of six children a couple years ago, she’s been cleaning out her house so that we’ll have less stuff to throw away when she dies. Giving away jewelry, tossing old Christmas decorations—things of that sort. This last time my sister and I went home, we had the lovely task of cracking open the liquor cabinet.

Now this liquor cabinet probably hadn’t been opened since before I was born. Her husband used to be an alcoholic (a real one, not the enthusiast type), but gave it up some time in the late 70s if my calculations are correct. And my grandma, while she loves herself a glass of White Zinfandel, isn’t really the type to chug hard liquor on her own. There was a lot of dust and weird smells in that cabinet and, sadly, every single bottle—except for the pomegranate grenadine—was open. We took them all out, sniffed them, lost some brain cells and some lung function, and poured them down the drain. If you ever get the chance to take a whiff of 50-year-old rum that’s been chilling in a cabinet unsealed and half-drunk, OMG DON’T DO IT. Seriously. Read more »


Cheers to Repeal Day

On December 5, 1933, the 18th Amendment passed, ending that time of great debauchery in the U.S. we call Prohibition. Drink up today to celebrate the freedom to drink up. Read more »


100 and counting

—Christian & Josey

It’s been a long, fun, loud, hot, naked, broke, lonely, sexy, tearful, painful, balckkedd out, shameful, warm, fuzzy, nauseous, shaky, tired, wired, naked, sticky, confusing, crazy, trip—but we made it to our 100th post!

Over the past 100 posts, we’ve survived Thanksgiving the only way an Enthusiast can, and learned how to avoid cuts and burns slightly lessen the chances of sustaining life-threatening injuries when cooking while less-than-sober.

We met a hottie in a Budweiser dress, and developed a simple quiz to answer the question that’s plagued humankind since time’s inception: are we drunk? Are we drunk—right now?
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An Enthusiast’s Guide to Cocktails: the White Russian


To tell the story of the the White Russian we need to look back a few years to the origin of vodka cocktails in general. The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930) is considered one of the first U.S. publications to include recipes using vodka. At that time, vodka was primarily a Russian export (and the country is widely believed to have been responsible for its origin). It should come as no surprise then, that one of these early vodka cocktails in the Savoy book was known simply as the “Russian” (vodka, gin and crème de cacao). The similarities to it’s progeny should be apparent. Read more »