Nov
08
2011

Whiskey gingers at the end of the world: Part 1

—Tessa

It wasn’t my intention to begin my column about drinking in Antarctica while sitting at the bar at 8am on a Tuesday, but now that it’s happened, it seems like a very fitting start to these cold- and bourbon-fueled insights into alcohol enthusiasm at the end of the world. My name is Tessa and I’m a vagabond artist and voluntary canary down the coal mine currently working as a cook down at McMurdo Station, Antarctica. For the next fourish months, I’ll be working and drinking from my little home on the Ross Island Ice Shelf, and will be regaling you with tales of inebriation from the very, very deep South.
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Aug
31
2011

What to pack for your long weekend: An Enthusiasts’ checklist

—Josey

There are two things we don’t think work better drunk here at the Alcohol Enthusiast, and driving is one of them. (The other one is your mom’s penis, in case you were wondering—heyo!) So I’ll preface this road trip list with a big “IF.” IF you can sober up long enough to drive someplace or you’re a really excellent liar who feigns a pitiable combination of congenital Strabismus and inability to operate your household’s only vehicle because it’s a stick shift person whose friends crave their company so deeply they offer to stay off the sauce for a few hours to drive you all somewhere super sweet for the weekend, here’s what you should bring to ensure a bitching time: Read more »


May
13
2011

The Dude’s White Russian journey

—Ian

The “hero’s journey” (a term coined by American writer, Joseph Campbell) is a common theme in global mythology. Here, in a line from Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces, is the hero’s journey summarized:

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

This all-encompassing event in a person’s life happens in a series of defined stages: Departure, Initiation and Return. Each stage is then marked with various steps, the full list of which (with descriptions) can be read here.  In The Big Lebowski, the Dude’s journey follows this pattern. And interestingly, certain key steps of the adventure are heralded each time the Dude imbibes his favorite drink, the White Russian (or as he refers to it—the Caucasian).

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Apr
04
2011

An Enthusiasts’ Guide to throwing a hotel afterparty

—Josey

There’s an event—maybe a show. Or a birthday party, or a New Year’s. Or a Halloween. And it’s out of town. Or it’s in the same city where you live, but on the other side of town, too far to drunk-stumble home from, and in a neighborhood devoid of cabs past last call. Or it’s next door, but your upstairs neighbor calls the cops when there’s more than four feet wandering the rugs past 11pm.

And then when last call is called or the cash runs out or it’s time for a more intimate setting or some better music or to change out of whatever hot-but-miserable outfit you’ve donned for the celebration—we retire to the hotel afterparty.
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Mar
28
2011

The Alcohol Enthusiast goes to Vegas

—Josey and Christian

As every alcohol enthusiast should at some point, we recently made our first pilgrimage to Las Vegas, one of the drunkenness capitals of the globe. The occasion was a special one: Our friends, soon-to-be-world-famous glitter dance band Easystreet, were playing their Sin City debut at the Beauty Bar as part of the Neon Reverb music festival. As loud people (good for cheering) with an SLR, we felt our presence was necessary. That, and the fact that even the word “Vegas” muttered quietly and in passing under-breath was enough to send trembles down our arms and set our parched mouths watering in anticipation.
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Mar
16
2011

Strange bedfellows: A Vegas adventure

—Prez

Ah, Vegas, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways… Of course, I can’t tell you exactly what happened on each trip, I was sworn to secrecy upon arrival at McCarran International Airport by a scruffy man who approached me in the men’s room and assured me that “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” In retrospect, I probably should have told an adult, but hey, IT’S VEGAS!

Forget the family-friendly image Vegas has been trying to push lately; Sin City is all about indulging your vices. And mine happens to be over-enthusing to my heart’s content.  Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that Vegas is not for everyone, but every alcohol-blooded, booze fan should think of it as Mecca: a holy place that every Enthusiast should pilgrimage to at least once in their lifetime—preferably once a year.
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Oct
12
2010

Unlimited expatriate enthusiasm

—Milla

Dining room at the Westin Beijing.

I have recently taken up residence in a country where drinking is neither prolific, nor genetically advisable due to the incredibly unfortunate absence of an all-important enzyme. Yes—this British Enthusiast is in China, the land where even a waft of alcohol sends most locals into a flush, rendering true enthusiasm near impossible.

So when an establishment such as the Westin Beijing, with its many stars and respectable patrons, invited an Enthusiast such as myself to get “bubbalicious” on a Sunday, “any time from 11am,” I doubt they understood the chaos that was likely to ensue.
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Aug
20
2010

Best friends forever: Part two

—Hardie

Continued from yesterday’s “Best friends forever: Part one.”

I resumed scanning the room. Across from me in at the bar was a skinny middle-aged blond man I’d seen a few times over the last week and who—to my perhaps overly enthusiastic mind—was either pretending to have, or actually only had, one arm. Upon closer inspection, it became clear that his other arm, strung up in a sling, was obscured by his blue jean vest. He was accompanied by what looked like a younger clone—but with two arms—and indeed, my previous companion had suggested this was his beloved son. They got the father-son special: a pitcher of sangria for 13 Euros.
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Aug
19
2010

Best friends forever: Part one

Everyone knows real estate is about location. A young couple picks a home so as to be in a good school district, a businessman to have an impressive address in an upper-class enclave, a hippie to be close to “nature.” An Enthusiast is no exception.

But an Enthusiast’s real estate concerns are about how far it is to whet one’s whistle. Such is doubly important when an Enthusiast is away from his home real estate, whether on a honeymoon with a blushing bride or on a lark with a favorite prostitute—or waiting on a new visa for one’s adopted home country in the closest neighboring nation and hoping that the discovery of a nest of one’s adopted home country’s spies in one’s original home country would not derail one’s plans.
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Aug
06
2010

An Enthusiast’s guide to drunkamping

—Christian

I know the Enthusiast has already expounded on the trials and tribulations of drinking in public, but today I’d like to talk about a different kind of outdoor drinking. Namely, that which is done in the modern cradle of mother nature—the campsite. Here is the Enthusiasts’ guide to camping, guaranteed to ensure that your next journey in the wild* does not involve even a bit of sobriety.

The first rule of thumb is: you’re always going to under estimate. Unless your friends are a bunch of teetotalers, the carefree atmosphere of hanging out under the open sky, combined with the lack of responsibility a single bar of service on your cell phone engenders, will almost assuredly result in the lot of you drinking constantly. As such, be sure to bring plenty of hooch, and the right combination is very important.
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