Jun
27
2012

Taste test: Whiskey Dick

—Josey

Whiskey Dick is more than just every enthusiastic man’s nightmare. It’s also the name of a bourbon-flavored lube. I’m a long-time fan of both bourbon and putting penises in my mouth, so this lube is basically the realization of like, about a third of my fantasies.

Because I’m a distinguished member of the alcoholic press, I emailed the Whiskey Dick company‘s super-official “media” address, basked in my own specialness for a few, and waited patiently for my Whiskey Dick to arrive. And guess what? My Whiskey Dick popped up—I mean, didn’t pop up—later that night! Take my wife, please.
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Dec
03
2011

Holiday Cocktails: Bourbon milk punch

–Christian

We’re heading over to a friend’s holiday house warming party tonight. Our contribution is going to be an old holiday favorite, bourbon milk punch. Lighter than eggnog, but still well-spiced and comforting on a cold night, bourbon milk is easy to prepare and makes a nice additional to any holiday spread.

You can mix to order, but more than likely you’re not looking to shake drinks all night. Which is where this great large-batch recipe from the New York Times comes in handy.

The ingredients

The Times recipe calls for the following to make eight servings:

12pts confectioner’s sugar (dissolves easier)
64pts whole milk (half gallon)
12pts bourbon
.5pt vanilla extract
Fresh grated nutmeg

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Aug
31
2011

What to pack for your long weekend: An Enthusiasts’ checklist

—Josey

There are two things we don’t think work better drunk here at the Alcohol Enthusiast, and driving is one of them. (The other one is your mom’s penis, in case you were wondering—heyo!) So I’ll preface this road trip list with a big “IF.” IF you can sober up long enough to drive someplace or you’re a really excellent liar who feigns a pitiable combination of congenital Strabismus and inability to operate your household’s only vehicle because it’s a stick shift person whose friends crave their company so deeply they offer to stay off the sauce for a few hours to drive you all somewhere super sweet for the weekend, here’s what you should bring to ensure a bitching time: Read more »


Aug
12
2011

How to make the Summer Tremble

Our first happy hour event was a great success. After setting up at HANGR 16, I mixed drinks like crazy for almost three hours.
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Mar
16
2011

Strange bedfellows: A Vegas adventure

—Prez

Ah, Vegas, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways… Of course, I can’t tell you exactly what happened on each trip, I was sworn to secrecy upon arrival at McCarran International Airport by a scruffy man who approached me in the men’s room and assured me that “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” In retrospect, I probably should have told an adult, but hey, IT’S VEGAS!

Forget the family-friendly image Vegas has been trying to push lately; Sin City is all about indulging your vices. And mine happens to be over-enthusing to my heart’s content.  Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that Vegas is not for everyone, but every alcohol-blooded, booze fan should think of it as Mecca: a holy place that every Enthusiast should pilgrimage to at least once in their lifetime—preferably once a year.
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Oct
29
2010

An Enthusiast’s guide to happy hour

—Josey

All Enthusiasts know that happy hour is a lie.

Not the happy part—the hour part. While billed as a way to decompress with friends and co-workers at the end of a challenging work week—or to remind yourself that there are good things in this world in the midst of a hellacious one—for Enthusiasts, happy hour is simply a financially-savvy method of kicking off a drinking marathon. So how can an Enthusiast make the most of her Friday happy twelve hours?
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Oct
05
2010

Food for Drunks: Pork belly donuts and Pine State biscuits

—Josey

You know when you’re halfway through a bottle of Kirkland Signature vodka and you get an empty, gnawing feeling in your gut? Occasionally, that’s not just last weekend’s regrettable (and documented) intercourse acts eating away at you, nor the bulk bottle of vodka getting 86’d from your system. Sometimes, that gnawing means you’re hungry. For food.

But while an oily slice of pepperoni swiped off your bar neighbor’s table while they’re getting another round, or a stale handful of Movie Theater Butter popcorn out of a yellow-stained bag perched atop your friend’s kitchen garbage will satisfy in a pinch, there are certain edibles that will really tickle your booze-drenched belly until in screams in joy.

With this new series, Food for Drunks, we aim to hunt down the world’s most Enthusiast-friendly provisions—and, enjoy the shit of out them.
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Sep
03
2010

An Enthusiast’s guide to tying the knot

—Christian and Josey

Full disclosure: two of us here at Alcohol Enthusiast headquarters are married—to each other. Ok, ok—we get it. Stop making that fake gagging noise. Just hurry up and get drunker so you can be happy for us already.

When two Enthusiasts meet, blackout and forget that they met, then meet again and attribute their deja vu-esque recollection of one another to some sort of important past life connection, get wasted, fall in love, and decide at some point to make this most unholy and booze-soaked of unions legit—there are certain rules that must be followed in the planning of the wedding. Just as a Catholic wedding requires readings from both Testaments and a Psalm song, and Jewish grooms break glasses—a wedding between two (or more) Enthusiasts must also follow certain tenets of faith.
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Aug
06
2010

An Enthusiast’s guide to drunkamping

—Christian

I know the Enthusiast has already expounded on the trials and tribulations of drinking in public, but today I’d like to talk about a different kind of outdoor drinking. Namely, that which is done in the modern cradle of mother nature—the campsite. Here is the Enthusiasts’ guide to camping, guaranteed to ensure that your next journey in the wild* does not involve even a bit of sobriety.

The first rule of thumb is: you’re always going to under estimate. Unless your friends are a bunch of teetotalers, the carefree atmosphere of hanging out under the open sky, combined with the lack of responsibility a single bar of service on your cell phone engenders, will almost assuredly result in the lot of you drinking constantly. As such, be sure to bring plenty of hooch, and the right combination is very important.
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Jun
07
2010

Drunk of the Day

Let’s travel back a couple years, and to a place its locals occasionally refer to as “San Diego.”

It was somebody who may or may not also write for this blog’s birthday, and he may or may not have been turning a year that was one shy of a quarter century. What better way to celebrate, he might have mulled, than crashing for a weekend at a friend’s home in California’s most stereotypically sun-filled of cities? A perfect venue for copious daytime-beach into nighttime-bar-hop booze binging.

The birthday eve began as many had before, with a promise among several present to ingest a certain number of drinks that equaled the years that this possible-future blogger was aging towards. Sharpies were located and stuffed in jean pockets, for keeping semi-permanent tally.

Twenty-four increasingly wavy, lengthy, and/or jagged lines snaked around the forearms of the participants’ arms before the clock ticked past three hours prior to West Coast last call. And the night, she was young yet.
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