What the fuck happened?!: A boozey look back at 2010

—Josey and Christian

What the fuck happened in 2010?! How did I get these bruises? Where the hell is my wallet? Where am I—and who are you?!? 2010, it’s been real. As we scratch our soaking brains to try and remember what the fuck happened last year, one thing’s clear: there was drinking. And it all gets kinda blurry after that. Here’s our best attempt at a round-up of the year’s top stories in booze:

Drunken rants and DUIs. “Mooooom! You’re sooooo embaaaarraaaasssingggg!!!” Calling Audrina Patridge a “celebrity” is a stretch, but we don’t care who she is or where she comes from—her mom’s wasted rant following the ex-reality show “celebrity’s” “elimination” from more-vomit-inducing-than-store-brand-tequila-mixed-with-milk-in-a-moment-of-misguided-desperation “TV” “competition” Dancing with the “Stars” (are you sick of air quotes yet?—us neither!) was one of the best recorded drunken rants of 2010. Happy America! We’re all American!
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Four Loko field testing


There’s been a lot of recent press about a caffeinated malt liquor beverage know as Four Loko. Apparently it’s been causing college kids to succumb to alcohol poisoning at higher frequencies than normal. The theory is that the stimulants in the 23.5oz beverage prevent its drinkers from experiencing the sedative effects of the relatively high alcohol content (12%). Hence, they are able to consume more without slowing down and thusly they end up drinking and drinking until their BAC turns off the lights.

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