Homemade holiday gifts for drunks: Infused booze


It’s getting toward the end of the year, and if your 2011 New Year’s resolution was anything like mine—more day drinking—then you’re probably realizing right about now that your best intentions quietly slipped away sometime in … well, let’s face it, early January. Damn work.

But unlike with all your other failed resolutions, there’s still time for this one before the clock strikes 2012.

“But Leila,” I can almost hear you saying, “when will I find time for all this merrymaking? I have things to do! Presents to buy! Holiday parties to attend!”

First of all, quit your whining. Second, I have a solution to all of these problems and more, because you and I are getting ready to make infused liquor as holiday gifts for all your friends and (selected) family. Infused liquor is delicious, quick and easy and fun to make, and is appreciated both at holiday parties and as gifts. And you’re pretty much forced to taste it as it infuses! So let’s Martha Stewart it up and make some homemade gifts, shall we?
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Thanksgiving for Enthusiasts

—Christian and Josey

We Enthusiasts know that the best way to soak up too much turkey—or Tofurkey, for you crazy vegetarians—stuffing, and mashed potato is by drinking. Heavily.

Aside from it’s science-proven health benefits, booze can go a long way to make family time more bearable. When surrounded by a crowd of people who may or may not approve of your job, how you dress, your five polyamorous life partners, or—GOD FORBID—the number of drinks you down at family functions, it’s all a lot easier to manage when your belly is brimming with boozy cheer. Not to mention that holidays provide yet another perfect excuse to get schnockered before the sun sets.

The eye-opener: Start your morning off right with mimosas and coffee—Enthusiast style! Stash an extra, secret bottle of bubbly near the back of the fridge so you can share with Cousin Sue and still have enough left over for you. You only need to add enough orange juice to your champagne flute for an acceptable tint of color that will help your parents imagine you drink like a “normal person.” And coffee is the perfect vehicle for a whiskey from your preferred world region. Even if your relatives are the teetotaling type and you’ve already finished off the bottle you brought, there’s probably a bottle of something-hard one of your likeminded family members stashed in the bathroom cabinet during their last stay.
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Happy holidays

Happy April 20th to all of our blunted brethren.

While we know that some of you, as you sit cross-legged on grassy (hehe….grass) knolls, or piled onto tattered couches in college quads, or passing pieces around in hot-boxed back-seats, or watching OMG cat cannot unsee the horror for the 843,000th time in your darkened apartments, in cities, suburbs, villages, and on super heady hilltops across the universe, are thinking primarily about how much better Family Guy used to be, whether your vegan bros will stop talking to you if you order the Double Down, and … fingers … fingers … ffffffff … Wait, what was I just talking about?

Oh, right. Double agents. While we know that some of you are just mentally planning out how you’re totally going to start researching MFA programs in, like, either Vermont or maybe Oregon tomorrow morning, for real this time—we also know that some you are thinking about drinking.

For all you Weed Worshipers out there who double as Enthusiasts (or anyone interested in converting) we just wanted to remind you that this crazy train doesn’t have to stop when you wake up on your bro’s LoveSac tomorrow, lips stained with the remains of those tasty midnight “nachos,” hour eight of Planet Earth blaring from the TV, and this thing that … well, we’ll never know, will we?

I think my point is that you don’t have to stop this wild ride from boiling just yet, even if you’re watching it. Because although 4/20 comes but once a year, fear not, fellow Enthusiasts—for every day is Booze Day.

And to all, a good night.