Quiz: Are you drunk right now?


Are you drunk right now? You might think so, but you might not be. That’s why we’ve created this helpful quiz: Just answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions and put suspicions about your sobriety to bed once and for all.

1. Are you seeing double? Are you seeing double?
….1a) How many fingers am I holding up?

2. Does buying a round of Patrón for the bar sound like a great way to liquidate your checking account?
….2a) Does buying a second round on your Visa sound like a great way to build credit?
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We love you, booze.

Whether you’re single or spending this Hallmark holiday with a significant other, insignificant cohabitator, sugar daddy, mistress, fuck buddy, or all of the above, there’s one lifetime love all Enthusiasts share and should not forget to celebrate this evening. Our longest term relationship, best friend, worst enemy, confidant, lover, hater, and then lover again—booze.

We weren’t sure what to get booze for Valentine’s Day this year, as booze seemed a little cannibalistic (wait, what?). So we thought we’d continue to write our endless love a never-ending love letter. And we’d talk dirtier to her then ever before by giving the Enthusiast a sexxxy-as-hell new look.

Welcome to the new and improved Alcohol Enthusiast. Hotter and boozier and hotter than ever before—and we hope you love it as much as we do.

So cheers, fellow Enthusiasts: whether you’re using booze to drown tears and an aching loneliness this evening or to connect more deeply with other humans, just remember that the Alcohol Enthusiast—and alcohol herself—will always love you.

Josey and Christian