Our three resolutions

—Christian and Josey

Now that your hangover is finally starting to dissipate, it’s time to get serious about the resolutions you drunkenly mispelled into your iPhone notes app then accidently emailed to your boss, or sluredly proclaimed to your puking cell mate in the early hours of January 1st.

Judging by the photographic evidence friends and strangers have posted on Facebook, our twenty-ten was full of long, wild nights and crazy days. And we don’t remember much of it. In twenty-eleven we want to get back to basics and focus on life’s simplest pleasures. So we put together a few resolutions of our own. The trick to a successful resolution? Don’t determine to stop doing something altogether, but rather realize what’s missing from your life and vow its future inclusion. After all: We didn’t get to be the Alcohol Enthusiast by saying no to anything—and we don’t recommend you say no to anything, either.

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What the fuck happened?!: A boozey look back at 2010

—Josey and Christian

What the fuck happened in 2010?! How did I get these bruises? Where the hell is my wallet? Where am I—and who are you?!? 2010, it’s been real. As we scratch our soaking brains to try and remember what the fuck happened last year, one thing’s clear: there was drinking. And it all gets kinda blurry after that. Here’s our best attempt at a round-up of the year’s top stories in booze:

Drunken rants and DUIs. “Mooooom! You’re sooooo embaaaarraaaasssingggg!!!” Calling Audrina Patridge a “celebrity” is a stretch, but we don’t care who she is or where she comes from—her mom’s wasted rant following the ex-reality show “celebrity’s” “elimination” from more-vomit-inducing-than-store-brand-tequila-mixed-with-milk-in-a-moment-of-misguided-desperation “TV” “competition” Dancing with the “Stars” (are you sick of air quotes yet?—us neither!) was one of the best recorded drunken rants of 2010. Happy America! We’re all American!
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