Dec
25
2010

Family cheer

—Christian and Josey

There’s something magical about this time of year. The air is crisp with cold and possibility as we huddle inside with the people we care most about.

Parents who cut extra-loose, with stories about after-partying in the ’70s told louder and more insistently following every downed cocktail and emptied bottle of red wine. Your aunt with an over-flowing glass of scotch who travels a few miles past sobriety and reminisces about the pants you wore at nineteen that were so baggy they threatened to expose your nether regions. The underage cousin you sneak a few hundred too many Jack swigs to, whose bedroom floor later feels the wrath of your indiscretion. The overage cousin you do shots of the Goldschlager you hid beneath your bed during high school with—insisting that you still fucking love this stuff and swearing that the bottle wasn’t, in fact, first opened over a decade ago. Even the older, unrelated gentleman who everyone likes but no one remembers inviting, who passes while out standing up and must be carried to a couch to sleep it off.
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Nov
24
2010

Thanksgiving for Enthusiasts

—Christian and Josey

We Enthusiasts know that the best way to soak up too much turkey—or Tofurkey, for you crazy vegetarians—stuffing, and mashed potato is by drinking. Heavily.

Aside from it’s science-proven health benefits, booze can go a long way to make family time more bearable. When surrounded by a crowd of people who may or may not approve of your job, how you dress, your five polyamorous life partners, or—GOD FORBID—the number of drinks you down at family functions, it’s all a lot easier to manage when your belly is brimming with boozy cheer. Not to mention that holidays provide yet another perfect excuse to get schnockered before the sun sets.

The eye-opener: Start your morning off right with mimosas and coffee—Enthusiast style! Stash an extra, secret bottle of bubbly near the back of the fridge so you can share with Cousin Sue and still have enough left over for you. You only need to add enough orange juice to your champagne flute for an acceptable tint of color that will help your parents imagine you drink like a “normal person.” And coffee is the perfect vehicle for a whiskey from your preferred world region. Even if your relatives are the teetotaling type and you’ve already finished off the bottle you brought, there’s probably a bottle of something-hard one of your likeminded family members stashed in the bathroom cabinet during their last stay.
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